I
love the Clips feature in Google Mail. It shows me interesting URLs I might not have found by my own devices. Take this
one from Ask Yahoo!. (Yes, Ask Yahoo! is one of the default feeds for Gmail. Welcome to the weird, wild world of the
21st-century info economy, folks!) Some inquisitive reader wondered why we squirt baby bottle milk on our wrists to
test its temperature.
Wanna guess? Oh come on, take a guess...
If you guessed it's because the
skin on your wrist is thinner than on your hands, you're...right! What you may not have known is that your
elbow is also a prime testing spot for warm milk. Or you could bypass your body altogether and put your baby's
safety in the hands of these baby bottle
temperature indicators. Oh, rapacious capitalism dressed in the sheep's clothing of science, what would we ever do
without you??
(On another note, do you think this company could have made their product photo a little
less...um, you know...phallic? Yes, I know, I'm terrible...)
Thanks to our peeps at Joystiq for this news about the video game habits of American parents. It
seems the digital distractions aren't just for kids anymore: 35 percent of parents partake of the hobby, according to a
study commissioned by the Entertainment Software Association. (And given that these folks live or die by how well they
market their product, I'm inclined to believe they did everything in their power to get the numbers right.) The numbers
not only cut evenly across political boundaries, but across gender as well: 47 percent of gamer parents are moms. [Story
edited to remove stupid and sexist comment I made earlier.]
One heartening figure from the survey: 85 percent
of parents, whether gamers or not, said it is their responsibility to monitor the games their kids play, and not the
government's. Only 37 percent of parents polled believe the government should regulate the games that kids can buy.
Thanks to Kim at Three Dogs and a Baby for this pointer to Old Navy, where you
can make your child the proud owner of a pair of cargo pants...with a pocket for his or her cell phone, so your
baby or toddler can be just like "the big kid". Um, no, Old Navy - if you wanted our tots to be just like
"the big kids", you would sell these pants along with a laptop, a jumbo bottle of Tums, and $10,000 in
consumer debt. I know kids are growing up quickly these days, but can't we wait just a little longer to grow 'em up? Is
it too much to ask to wait until my child is, say, 4 years old before I get him accustomed to a digital tether?
You know, I've read a ton of parenting advice books, and for the life of me I've never seen one that contained a
section urging parents to warn their kids NOT to joke about killing the President of the United States. Perhaps that
explains this story from Rhode Island, in which an unnamed seventh-grader was asked to describe his perfect day in an
essay. His idea of perfection? The annihilation of George W. Bush, Oprah Winfrey, and executives from Wal-Mart and
Coca-Cola. The boy has been temporarily suspended from school as a mental health precaution, but was not arrested for
threatening the President, as his threat wasn't specific enough to constitute a criminal offense.
I would
love 10 minutes inside this child's head to find out how Oprah made it on that list. After watching her takedown of
James Frey, I'd think she'd be someone you'd want to have working for you, not
against you. (Besides, I'm sure Oprah's SWAT team of trained assassins can take
out any potential threat with less than 24 hours' notice.) Secretly, I have to wonder if the Secret Service was
more concerned about the Queen of Daytime TV than about their reputed boss. Hmm...does this kid know something we don't
know?!
(Oh, and it's my duty to remind all commenters that threatening the life of the President is a felony.
Just putting that out there...)
Did an elementary
school teacher encourage his students to strike bargains with the Prince of Darkness? That was some parents in Bennett,
Colorado think about Tresa Waggoner, who showed an opera video containing scenes of a production of Faust to first-, second-, and third-graders. Some
parents were appalled that their kids were exposed to the classic story about a man who sells his soul to the devil in
exchange for worldly gain. Waggoner hasn't been fired, but says she doesn't expect to stay in the
"conservative" community for very long.
Truth be told, I can see the parents' point.
Faust is a rather gritty tale for the likes of elementary school students. For high school students, however,
knowledge of the story should be required. It's a classic Western
legend of sin and redemption - not a glorification of Satan, as some of these parents seem to believe.
If anything, Tresa Waggoner should be penalized, not for Satanism, but for trying to coerce young children into
enjoying opera. What the hell is that about
I was reading Karen Walrond's latest post about
Barbie sales being off, and was pleased to see a comment by Mary
suggesting that parents ditch the Barbies in favor of Groovy Girls. I have to say, I second that emotion. We have an
ass-ton of Groovy Girls at our house, and the kids love them. As Mary noted, they're plush and neatly dressed, but
don't contain the ridiculously disproportionate curves of Mattel's mainstay. Another benefit? Since they're not
composed of detachable parts like Barbies, they're extremely durable. At this point, nearly every Barbie we own looks
like a survivor of Hiroshima; there are hardly any left not missing at least once body part. (And we have a few that
look like they could star in a remake of Dalton Trumbo's Johnny Got His
Gun.) Not one of the Girls, however, has come undone in the 6 years we've been buying them.
Sadly, this post may be coming too late: It looks like all of the Groovy
Girls for sale at Imaginarium Online are out of stock. Is this just a temporary glitch - or is it the swan song for
America's favorite alterna-doll? I've sent email to the manufacturer, Manhattan Toy Company, to try and get to the
bottom of this. In the meantime, if you can't find them in stock elsewhere, you can always pick up plenty of Groovy Girls stuff on eBay.
My previous post on physical punishment and
spanking has sparked a wonderful discussion about the issue that's caused me to step back and think thinks over.
Panthergirl, whose blog against physical punishment started this whole debate, has said publicly that she doesn't wish to debate
the issue with supporters of spanking and hitting. With all due respect to Panthergirl, I think that's a mistake.
It's clear that there is common ground in this debate. We all agree that many kids today are spoiled and
overindulged. Too many kids believe they deserve the world on a silver platter. We live in a materialistic,
McDonald's-focused culture where everyone is convinced that they can have it "their way". Concern for others
takes second place over concern for our own stomachs. Is it any wonder, then, that many of America's children are
turning out to be brats?
The debatable question is whether spanking and hitting are valid tools to help
stem this problem. I believe strongly that they are not.
But does that mean we ought to make it illegal?
I'm not convinced.
Ah, I love the age of 2. It's
an age of exploration, of discovery...and of driving your parents absolutely freaking insane. The latest devilish
device of my two-year-old boy Luka? Tearing the labels off of canned goods. You haven't experienced a good time until
you've played Mystery Food, shaking a dozen unlabeled cans and trying to judge by the way the contents shift whether it
contains corn or garbonzo beans.
The solution? Um...beats me. Outside of moving all the canned goods to a
high shelf, or not getting absorbed in writing Blogging Baby posts, I can't...um...sigh. Hold on, I'll be right back...
Yesterday I saw what had to be the strangest thing I've ever seen in my parenting career: my nine-year-old daughter
Neve taking out the trash. No one had asked her to do it; no one had even hinted it might be a good idea. A few moments
later, I saw her putting a refill on our Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh
Brush (the best invention since the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser).
That's when I knew something was up.
Sure enough, 15 minutes later my daughter bid me to "check your bedroom". There was our bed,
perfectly made - and a sign reading "Check the toilet". On the scrubbed toilet was a sign reading,
"Check the garbage". There I was greeted by a sign declaring, "Check the kitchen table". And at the
kitchen table was Neve, holding a sign reading, "CAN WE GO TO CHUCK E. CHEESE? PLEEEEEEEAS???"
I
have to say, I was let down. Here, I was holding out hope - however razor-thin - that my daughter had decided to become
an autonomous agent within the household, doing chores out of pure goodness and not expecting anything in return. I
thanked her profusely for her hard work...and then told her there was no way we were going to that overpriced
noise-fest.
(And no, I didn't use those exact words. I am a professional parent, after all.)
Back in July, Stefania Butler reported on the
conflict in Massachusetts over how to change birth certificates to acknowledge same-sex parents. The battle has
apparently spread to Monmouth County in New Jersey, where Catherine M. O'Conor and Stephanie A. DiVita have petitioned
a judge asking that they both be listed as parents once their child is born. Judge Ronald Reisner temorarily dodged the
bullet by dismissing the case on the grounds that the child hasn't been born. But the couple has vowed to re-file after
the birth.
One judge in New Jersey has approved a similar request, but others have denied it. The New
Jersey attorney general insists that existing laws covering artificial insemination don't extend to same-sex couple,
and that the legislature must change the law if it wishes to allow it. Aaah, it's always nice to see political
buck-passing get in the way of granting people their rights. (Um, not.)
In
Buddhism, it's taught that you should always keep your anger in check, for reacting in anger does nothing but
perpetuate the negative karmic cycles of hate and violence. On top of that, sometimes it can land you in jail. That
seems to be the case for Dave F. Swafford, the father of a 15-year-old girl who attends Lakewood Ranch High School in
Bradenton, Florida. The girl told her dad that a teacher's assistant had touched her sexually. The dad did what any
rational man would do: he marched into school and punched the poor assistant in the face.
Why do I say
"the poor assistant"? Because a surveilliance camera in the class revealed that the supposed incident never
happened when the girl said it did. Police concluded that the girl told a tattle to get revenge on the TA for punishing
her, and Swafford now faces assault charges for letting his fist fly.
Panthergirl, who has blogged
for what seems like a dog's age over at The Dog's Breakfast, has launched a new blog devoted to making physical punishment of kids illegal in
the United States. Panthergirl justifies her position in one of her latest posts: "We've outlawed it in most (not
all) schools. We have to stop letting parents use their own (often fatally flawed) judgment when deciding where
discipline ends and abuse begins." On top of trying to get Oprah Winfrey to pay attention to this issue, she's
also promoting Spank-Out Day USA on April 30th.
Personally, I'm all for this. I can understand why some
parents think they need to resort to physical abuse to keep their kids in line. But there is no objective situation
I've ever seen that demands its use. In the end, physical punishment is an ineffective means of dealing with a
developing rational being. Allowing it in any way, shape or form can only lead to more severe abuse as a child's
"transgressions" grow more severe. Kudos to PG for her efforts - here's hoping they take off in a big way.
Fathers 4 Justice, the father's
rights organization in Britain that's become (in)famous for dads protesting in superhero costumes and for flinging
purple powder at Tony Blair, has
officially thrown in the towel in the UK. The group was thrown for a loop after accusations that some of its
members plotted to kidnap Tony Blair's son as a "publicity stunt". However, the de-activation of F4J doesn't
mean that similar groups in other countries are giving in. In a recent email to the Yahoo! Group dadsinfamilycourt,
U.S. group coordinator John Fowler proclaimed that "2006 will be the year F4J becomes a household name
in the United States". In other words, expect lots of spottings of Spiderman and Robin on top of the Washington
monument in months to come. Will this do anything to improve enforcement of visitation orders? I guess we'll have to
wait and see.
Want a hilarious blast from the past? The
Internet Archive hosts this video on "Duck and Cover", a production of the Department of Defense meant to
teach kids what to do in case of an atomic attack. The video focuses on Bert the Turtle, who retreats into his shell
whenever a monkey tries to explode a stick of TNT next to his head. (Uhhhh...) The narrator pulls out all the stops in
scaring the bejeezus out of kids, explaining that the nuclear air raid alarms can sound "at any time, even when
you're outside playing". Hell, an attack can even come so quickly that there will be no air raid siren!
One scene shows two kids, Paul and Patty, walking to school as the narrator outlines the potential doom they face:
"Here they are going to school on a beautiful spring day...but no matter where they go or what they do, they
always try to remember what to do if the atom bomb explodes right then. [White flash] It's a bomb! Duck, and
cover!"
It's amazing any child of that era was able to sleep at night.
Perhaps the most
surprising thing about this video is that, despite having been produced in 1951, it depicts a racially integrated
classroom. I imagine this reel didn't get much play in the South...
Remember the school nurse? I sure do. For most of middle
school I was in her office at least twice a week, attempting to dream up a new excuse to get my ass sent home for the
day. (The classes were fine; it was the other kidsin the classes who didn't sit well with me.) If I were a student
today - and, for some bizarre reason, I seem to repeat 7th grade in my dreams at least once a week - I'd probably be
trying to con the principal and his assistants. CNN.com reports that in most cases, the "school nurse" has
gone the way of "duck and cover" drills. In many cases, a single nurse travels a half-dozen or more schools,
seeing students and training administrators in what do should a kid, oh, you know, go into anaphylactic shock or
something. This means diabetic kids like Katie Assael have to have a parent within minutes of the school at all times -
since if Katie needs to have an insulin shot, a parent must administer it, as no one else at the school is legally
allowed to give it to her.
This can't be the plan. Tell me this is NOT the plan.
I
love the Clips feature in Google Mail. It shows me interesting URLs I might not have found by my own devices. Take this
one from Ask Yahoo!. (Yes, Ask Yahoo! is one of the default feeds for Gmail. Welcome to the weird, wild world of the
21st-century info economy, folks!) Some inquisitive reader wondered why we squirt baby bottle milk on our wrists to
test its temperature. 
Thanks to our peeps at Joystiq
I was reading 
My previous post on physical punishment and
spanking
Ah, I love the age of 2. It's
an age of exploration, of discovery...and of driving your parents absolutely freaking insane. The latest devilish
device of my two-year-old boy Luka? Tearing the labels off of canned goods. You haven't experienced a good time until
you've played Mystery Food, shaking a dozen unlabeled cans and trying to judge by the way the contents shift whether it
contains corn or garbonzo beans. 
Yesterday I saw what had to be the strangest thing I've ever seen in my parenting career: my nine-year-old daughter
Neve taking out the trash. No one had asked her to do it; no one had even hinted it might be a good idea. A few moments
later, I saw her putting a refill on our 
Fathers 4 Justice, the father's
rights organization in Britain that's become (in)famous for dads protesting in superhero costumes and for flinging
purple powder at Tony Blair, 
Remember the school nurse? I sure do. For most of middle
school I was in her office at least twice a week, attempting to dream up a new excuse to get my ass sent home for the
day. (The classes were fine; it was the other kidsin the classes who didn't sit well with me.) If I were a student
today - and, for some bizarre reason, I seem to repeat 7th grade in my dreams at least once a week - I'd probably be
trying to con the principal and his assistants. CNN.com reports that in most cases, the "school nurse" has
gone the way of "duck and cover" drills. In many cases, a single nurse travels a half-dozen or more schools,
seeing students and training administrators in what do should a kid, oh, you know, go into anaphylactic shock or
something. This means diabetic kids like Katie Assael have to have a parent within minutes of the school at all times -
since if Katie needs to have an insulin shot, a parent must administer it, as no one else at the school is legally
allowed to give it to her.
