Want to get smarter? Have a kid.

The human brain makes new cells constantly over a lifetime, but the cells are most likely to survive and flourish when challenged with emotional and novel experiences. Scientists now say that parenthood provides the perfect "revolution for the brain."

After all, what could be more challenging than teaching a person to use the toilet? Or figuring out which cry means "I'm hungry?" Or coming up with new and different ways to disguise green vegetables?

Leading neuroscientists across the country are studying the ways that parenthood -- and, in particular, motherhood -- strengthens our mental abilities. One study showed that mother lab rats, like working mothers, excel at time management and efficiency, racing through mazes to get back to their babies as quickly as possible. Other research revealed that hormones created by labor and breastfeeding are linked to the ability to learn.

Katherine Ellison explores this concept in her book, The Mommy Brain. I heard Ellison talk about the mental gymnastics required by motherhood on my local pubic radio station, as I drove home from a late-night run to the drugstore for gas drops to administer to my newborn.

I laughed out loud when she said the mommy brain is a smarter brain, but then I realized just how often I apply complex problem solving skills in my job as a work-at-home mom. Dads aren't exactly slouches in this department, either. Keeping these kids alive is a lot of work, y'all.

Did parenthood make you smarter? Do you agree with Ellison, or is it just more mother-knows-best propaganda?

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How do you show support for your presidential candidate? Signs in your yard? Bumper stickers on your car? Maybe you just show up and vote on the first Tuesday in November? Whatever you do, I'll bet it doesn't compare to what this dad in Elizabethton, Tennessee did: he named his newborn daughter Sarah McCain Palin. Without his wife's knowledge. That's hardcore.

Mark Ciptak and his wife had settled on the perfectly lovely name of Ava Grace for their third child. But Ciptak decided that he needed to "to get the word out" about the Republican ticket for president and vice president and secretly filled in the birth certificate with a combination of John McCain's and Sarah Palin's names.



And how did his wife and the mother of his child take the news? "I don't think she believes me yet," he told a local paper. "It's going to take some more convincing."

"I took one for the cause," he said. "I can't give a lot of financial support for the (McCain/Palin) campaign. I do have a sign up in my yard, but I can do very little."

Sarah McCain Palin is a nice name and all, but who does this? I don't mean who would name their child after political candidates - I mean who would risk the wrath of a mother by secretly changing the name of her child? If he really wanted to take one for the cause, perhaps he should have changed his own name. Any bets on how long he will be sleeping on the couch?

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It is hard to find anything good to say about the economic crisis that has gripped not just the United States, but much of the world. People are losing their retirement savings, their jobs, their homes, their sense of security. Many of us have altered our normal spending habits and instead of going out to dinner or a movie, we stay home and find something else to do. Apparently in Britain, that 'something else' is sex. And according to some, this at-home recreation is having an impact on the sales maternity clothes, pregnancy tests, and sex toys (not necessarily in that order).

While many businesses are downsizing and wondering just how they will survive, those who specialize in sex-related merchandise are experiencing a boom. Pharmacies report a 20% increase in the sales of pregnancy tests and one chain selling maternity wear boasts of a 46% increase. As Miranda Levy, editor of Mother & Baby Magazine, points out: "What's cheaper and more fun than making babies?



Making babies with the help of sex toys, that's what! One online sex toy shop claims to have experienced a 27% increase in sales since the economy began melting down. "We are gobsmacked by the upturn in sales, while everyone else seems to be suffering. We've especially noticed the rise in sales of couples' toys, showing that people are buying for play with their partners," said Monique Carty, a spokesperson for the store.

I think it is great that couples are rekindling their romance in these times of trouble. But in about nine months, those who end up shopping in the maternity stores are going to find that staying home and having sex is a play now, pay later kind of fun. Ultimately, dinner and a movie would have been much cheaper.

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Thanks to widespread attention from the media and the medical establishment, we're all aware of the risk of postpartum depression. We know what to watch for in ourselves and in our girlfriends after the baby comes, and we know how important it is to get help before the "baby blues" turn into something more serious.

But it's not just new moms who are at risk -- new dads can suffer from postpartum depression, too. And it may be more common than you would imagine. According to Will Courtenay, a San Francisco, California-based psychotherapist, and a leading expert on paternal postpartum depression, "Each day in the U.S., 1,000 new dads become depressed, and according to some studies that number is as high as 3,000. That's as many as one in four news dads who become depressed."

While a variety of factors can trigger postpartum depression in new dads, there are things to watch for: dads of high-need babies (with colic, for example) may be at more risk, as will the partners of women who are prone to depression. And of course any parent with a history of depression prior to the birth of a baby should be prepared for a return of the depression once the baby arrives.

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After more than twenty-five years in the business, the shine is definitely off the industry in which I've toiled for so long. And yet, I go to work every morning and trudge through the day, not taking off for Botswana to bum around in an old Land Rover. Why? Because of the kids. I couldn't imagine not being around them, hugging them, hearing Jared say he loves me and watching Sara climb things. I didn't set out to be a parent but, like someone who expects lengua to taste terrible but tries it anyway and loves it, I am now, first and foremost, a father.

But what if I weren't able to see the kids every day? What if I weren't around all the time to take them to school and cook them dinner and hug them in the middle of the night when the monsters come calling? That must be what it's like to be a single parent. Such is the tale of William Leith who shares custody of his three-year-old son with his ex-wife; Leith sees his son for half a week at a time.

Leith has written a very touching and sadly informative piece about what being a part-time dad means for him. "...even after three and a half years. My son! I don't usually go more than three days without seeing him. But sometimes it feels like a long time not to see your son." I could imagine going three days without seeing the kids -- perhaps on a business trip or something -- but it would certainly be a rarity. I don't think I've gone more than a day without seeing them since they were born. That would be like walking around without an arm -- or a heart.

Check out Leith's article; I know it made me think about life without the kids and strengthened my resolve not to miss out on their lives. I joke that I would never get a divorce because my wife would stick me with the kids but, in reality, the exact opposite is true. I don't want to have to visit my kids.

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At some point in all our lives, we become officially too old for trick-or-treating. This doesn't mean that we stop celebrating Halloween, it just means we do it in a completely different way. For most, that means hosting or attending a grown-up Halloween party. I've been to many adult Halloween parties in several different parts of the country and there is one thing that seems to hold true no matter where I live: on Halloween, men like dressing up in women's clothing and women like dressing up in as little as possible.

I don't know what the deal is with that, but I am not into it. Not that I have anything against tramps or cross-dressers, I just think it is a little unoriginal. Not to mention chilly. My main goal when choosing a costume is simple: warmth. My secondary goal is to achieve my first goal without spending lots of money. Last year I was a candy corn. My costume was a homemade affair consisting of white, yellow and orange felt sewn together in wide bands into a floor-length A-line dress. Held up by simple straps, worn over a white turtle-neck, and topped off with a white beanie, it was like wearing a blanket and required only basic sewing skills.

Speaking of basic sewing skills - you got 'em? If so, are you whipping up a costume for yourself this year? Do you have a great adult costume idea that requires little or no sewing? Most importantly - is it warm?

When I married the first time, I was quite young and didn't think twice about taking my husband's last name as my own. That's what a woman does when she marries, right? But when I married again nearly 20 years later, I didn't even consider taking my new husband's name. Well, maybe I considered it. But after realizing that he didn't care what I called myself, I knew that I would always and forever be a Maple. What we didn't discuss during those pre-marital negotiations was him taking my last name.



I don't think he would have done it even if I had suggested it, but there are men who would - and do - happily change their last names to that of their wives. There are no real statistics on the subject, but anecdotal evidence suggests that this might even be a trend. And while this trend my seem terribly modern to some, it was actually not uncommon in 14th and 15th century England for men to take their wives' last names if hers was more prominent.

These days, I imagine a man would have a better reason than popularity to exchange the name he was born with for his wife's. Maybe hers is easier to pronounce. Maybe a hyphenated version of both their names would be long and awkward. Or maybe he just likes her name better. I understand why couples want to have the same last name - to show they are united as a family and for the sake of the children. But I see no reason why it must be his last name. Do you?

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I'm not sure I'd ever want to be famous. There comes a point in everyone's life when they say something they wish they could take back, but when you say it on national television ... well, that's a problem. I'm wondering if Naked Chef star Jamie Oliver is feeling like that now.

The husband and father of two recently admitted that when conceiving his third child with wife Jools, he really, really wanted a boy. So strong was his desire for a son, he did a little experimenting. A specialist had told him that when it comes to conceiving one sex over the other, it was all about "temperature." So Jamie bought an adult diaper, soaked it in water and froze it, cut a hole, then slipped that baby on. Can you say romantic?

Whether it worked or not, the couple doesn't yet know. Jamie and Jools are already parents to Poppy Honey, 6, and Daisy Boo, 5, and have made no secret about their desire to have a son. To see Jamie make his hilarous admission to talk show host Jonathan Ross, watch the (possibly NSFW) video below.

My favorite line? "I actually didn't plan on having this conversation." I bet!

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After a long day of work, car pooling, and errands, what most dads (and moms) would like to do is to finally sit down, maybe read the paper or watch TV. But we're lucky to be raising kids in a new era, one where dads are far more involved in their children's daily lives than in generations past. And so they brush off the fatigue to play a game of catch with their kids, coach a soccer team, or curl up in bed together and read a good book.

And you know what? All that extra time pays off. A large study that included 17,000 babies and spanned 50 years found that children of hands-on fathers grew up to be generally more successful, including a higher IQ and a better social standing. Researchers interviewed 5,700 of those original babies at age 46 to see if how they were parented affected the way they interacted with their own children.

I tell my husband all the time that our girls are so lucky that he's a hands-on dad. He's as likely to play a rousing game of Pretty Pretty Princess with our three-year-old as he is to take our kindergartner out to hit a few balls off a tee. He shrugs it off -- why would he be any other way? But as a person who spends nearly 100% of her time with her children, I can see how much his interest in their lives bolsters them, and bonds them together despite the hours he spends away with work.

Quality time doesn't need to be complicated, but if you're a dad looking for some new activities for you and your children to enjoy together, About.com has great list of links.

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Babysitters aren't cheap these days and on top of the actual cost you have to figure in the hassle of finding one, instructing them, and, possibly driving them home afterwards. But suppose you've done all that and now you and your significant other are free (Wheee!) for the evening -- what do you do to make the most of the night? How about a movie? Oh, sure, so you can pay seven bucks to listen to someone else's kids just because they couldn't get a babysitter?

There's an alternative, now, if you live near Chicago. Gold Class Cinemas is opening a new theatre that features reclining arm chairs and full waiter service. The theatre will offer wine -- including a $295 bottle of Dom Perignon champagne -- and comestibles such as duck tacos and Wagyu beef burgers. It's unlikely you'll encounter any screaming kids or audience members talking on their cell phones -- tickets are $35, about five times the going rate.

While that might seem like a lot just to see a movie, bear in mind that you're probably already going to be paying nearly that much for the babysitter. It seems to me that it's worthwhile for parents to make their rare nights out something to remember.

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It's every father's nightmare -- you wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of your teenage daughter's screaming and discover a naked man attempting to do who-knows-what to her. That's what sixty-four-year-old Robert McNally dealt with recently. During a struggle with the intruder, McNally got his arm around the man's neck and pinned him to the floor while his wife called the police. When the police arrived, McNally was still holding the man down. After McNally let go, the intruder was unresponsive and subsequently pronounced dead.

The man broke into the house through the girl's bedroom window and was wearing nothing but a mask and latex gloves. He was also carrying a knife, a rope, a gag, and condoms, according to police. It turns out that the man was David Myers, a former sex offender who had been living with his mother nearby. He had served ten years of a twenty-year sentence for sexual deviate conduct but had failed to register as a sex offender after being released two years ago.

Police are unsure whether the man died from being choked or from heart failure; Myers had a history of heart problems. The police said that it is unlikely any charges will be filed against McNally. It seems to me that McNally did exactly the right thing in order to protect his family and others'. And, despite the law that apparently says teenagers have to hate their parents, I'll bet McNally's daughter sure loves her old man right about now.

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The best parenting advice I've ever heard is also the simplest: play with your kids as long as they will let you.

Want to save your marriage despite having kids? Remember this.

Research has shown that girls who get their period earlier on are at higher risk of breast cancer, depression and teen pregnancy. There are a lot of factors that can contribute to reaching puberty earlier, including obesity, nutrition, and exposure to chemicals. Now, there's another factor that appears to trigger earlier onset of puberty: fathers -- specifically fathers who are addicted to drugs or alcohol, are abusive, or are involved in criminal activity.

It's not so much the living with an abusive or drug-using father, however, that spurred the early development as it was his leaving. The theory is that the girls are responding to a "window of opportunity" by developing faster. "In the world in which humans evolved, dangerous or unstable home environments meant a shorter lifespan, and going into puberty earlier in this context increased chances of surviving, reproducing and passing on your genes," said Professor Bruce Ellis who worked on the study.

It seems to me that the practical application of this information is not that abusive fathers should necessarily stick around, but that fathers shouldn't be such a problem in the first place. This is just one more reason to work really hard to be the best father possible.

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We all, I'm sure, do our best to treat our children fairly and equally. It is, really, the right thing to do. We don't give one kid a pony for their birthday and the other a pair of socks, we don't take one on vacation and leave the other with the babysitter, and we don't buy one kid a brand new sports car and the other a used bike. Well, one couple has made a video asking that the state do the same.

Sam and Julia Thoron have been married for nearly half a century and have raised three children. One of them happens to be gay, but that doesn't mean it's okay to let the other two get married while taking away the right of the third to do so. California's proposition 8 would do just that -- take away the right of thousands of parent's sons and daughters to get married. In the video, Julia asks "please don't eliminate that right -- for anyone's family."



It had to take a lot of guts -- and love -- for this couple to make that video. But then, that's the sort of thing parents do for their kids. Hopefully, all the other parents in the state will think about their own children and not vote to take away their right to marry this November.

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